| Copyright © 2004-2009 Dancing Bulls Advertising All rights reserved. Used by permission. |
| MARRIAGE MYTH #6 I DON'T HAVE TO FORGIVE MY SPOUSE |
| Article Copyright © -2009 Nan C Loyd All rights reserved. Used by permission. |
There is no way that we can be just a little bit unforgiving or offended and walk with God. Walking with
God means we must allow His love to drive out every trace of any kind of unforgiveness – EVEN TOWARD
OUR SPOUSE.
"But you just don't know how badly he treated me. I don’t have to put up with this!" whines a wife.
“You don’t know how she talked to me! She needs to respect me more!” huffs a husband.
Let me ask you a question. Has God forgiven your sin?
Your answer should be "Yes."
So your answer to any offenses or unforgiveness is: you forgive them. Period. End of discussion.
Quit crying and whining about how hurt you are. Maybe you have been mistreated, but if so then get over
it! Everybody has been mistreated in some form or another. And nowhere in the Bible does is that to
“love one another and forgive one another EXCEPT the person you are married to. You are exempt from
treating them like a fellow brother or sister in Christ.” No-where.
I was whining around one day when my husband said something to me I didn't like. I immediately began to
meditate on what he’s said to me. I began to feel pretty hurt and offended that he would speak to me like
that. I began to remember every other time I felt he’d offended me. Pretty soon I was thinking, "He
doesn't care about me anyway." Self-pity abounded.
God spoke up in my heart and said, "It isn't any of your business whether he cares for you or not. It's your
business to care for him because I said so." I also realized that by meditating on everything I thought was
wrong about him, I was magnifying his faults instead of what a blessing he is to me.
GOD is the One Who cares whether you hurt or not. Your hurts mean everything to God but they should
mean little or nothing to you." The Bible tells us to cast all our “cares” onto Him – in other words, give
them to God. Let Him deal with it.
We need to quit paying so much attention to our own hurt feelings and cast them over on God. You most
definitely need to quit meditating on everything you felt your spouse has done wrong and done to you,
and begin to remember how much you love them. Remember they are a gift from God. Remember that
He has blessed your marriage. When you have that attitude, it's not hard to forgive all hurts because
your focus isn't on yourself. It's on God and His purposes, God and His love.
If you really want to discover the secret of real forgiveness, that's where your focus has to be - on God.
We are instructed to forgive others in the same way that God has forgiven us.
1 Peter 5:7
1 John 3:22
God means we must allow His love to drive out every trace of any kind of unforgiveness – EVEN TOWARD
OUR SPOUSE.
"But you just don't know how badly he treated me. I don’t have to put up with this!" whines a wife.
“You don’t know how she talked to me! She needs to respect me more!” huffs a husband.
Let me ask you a question. Has God forgiven your sin?
Your answer should be "Yes."
So your answer to any offenses or unforgiveness is: you forgive them. Period. End of discussion.
Quit crying and whining about how hurt you are. Maybe you have been mistreated, but if so then get over
it! Everybody has been mistreated in some form or another. And nowhere in the Bible does is that to
“love one another and forgive one another EXCEPT the person you are married to. You are exempt from
treating them like a fellow brother or sister in Christ.” No-where.
I was whining around one day when my husband said something to me I didn't like. I immediately began to
meditate on what he’s said to me. I began to feel pretty hurt and offended that he would speak to me like
that. I began to remember every other time I felt he’d offended me. Pretty soon I was thinking, "He
doesn't care about me anyway." Self-pity abounded.
God spoke up in my heart and said, "It isn't any of your business whether he cares for you or not. It's your
business to care for him because I said so." I also realized that by meditating on everything I thought was
wrong about him, I was magnifying his faults instead of what a blessing he is to me.
GOD is the One Who cares whether you hurt or not. Your hurts mean everything to God but they should
mean little or nothing to you." The Bible tells us to cast all our “cares” onto Him – in other words, give
them to God. Let Him deal with it.
We need to quit paying so much attention to our own hurt feelings and cast them over on God. You most
definitely need to quit meditating on everything you felt your spouse has done wrong and done to you,
and begin to remember how much you love them. Remember they are a gift from God. Remember that
He has blessed your marriage. When you have that attitude, it's not hard to forgive all hurts because
your focus isn't on yourself. It's on God and His purposes, God and His love.
If you really want to discover the secret of real forgiveness, that's where your focus has to be - on God.
We are instructed to forgive others in the same way that God has forgiven us.
1 Peter 5:7
1 John 3:22